Mentoring on Purpose 

My husband and I have been Christians for over twenty years and this is the first time we have served in ministry together. In May 2008 we heard Kay speak about the needs of widows and orphans and looked at the myriad of ways we could serve one of these groups. We are 55 and 64 respectively and recent empty nesters. Many of our friends are new grandparents and I am at a point where I would like to be a grandparent (of course that requires my children's cooperate with my dream so I can have my “Hallmark Moment.”). I vowed I would never be the kind of mother that would nag her children for grandchildren.

We have been members of a Saddleback couples small group for fifteen years. One of the couples was unable to have children. They decided to make the lives of orphans a little bit better. They became foster parents to two boys who have since been reunited with their families. Three years ago they became foster parents to two girls and have since adopted one and become legal guardians for the other. Our friends, Scott and Laura have been shining examples of how to cooperate with God. Their boy has truly put joy in their lives.

Because of their example we decided to check out Mentoring on Purpose. I attended the introductory meeting in the summer of 2008 and brought home the materials and notes. Marv grabbed all of my materials and took the lead to make things happen. We decided to participate via the YMCA. It took us four months to pass a myriad of interviews, drug tests, finger printing, first aid requirements and car insurance licensing. We were certainly never that prepared when we gave birth to our own kids.

The YMCA has monthly Fun Days where they match mentors and mentees for the day. If there is a connection between the two, then a one year match can be made. We attended our first one in October and in December the Fun Day was a Christmas party at the Presbyterian church in Laguna Niguel. Grabbing dinner on the way the fortune cookie in our Pick Up Stix said “Your dream will come true when you least expect it.” I threw the fortune paper in my purse and did not think too much about it.

We met our menteees when they were 14 and 13 respectively at an event and it was love at first sight. Actually, one of the kids gave me the cold shoulder for the first hour and then it was love at first sight. In September they were reunited with their family after 9 years of living in foster homes and group homes. We met the parents and knew at that moment this was a match for a lifetime. What a lark! The fortune cookie was right.

The child who gave me the cold shoulder is now so open with me and there have been a number of “teachable moments.” It’s amazing what you can learn about a girl by playing tennis or a trip to the shopping mall. From the beginning she tried to be a surly teenager but her beauty and Christian walk kept shining through. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Sometimes her heart is so transparent I can’t keep my eyes from welling up with tears. Every month that goes by I can almost visibly see her breathe deeper as she settles into some consistency in her life.

Our other mentee is so bonded with Marv that every time we pick up the kids he is waiting for Marv at the front gate, and has nick named Marv: Marvee. I remember when Marv and I were first dating ( I was a single mom of a six year old boy), he told me how he wanted to be in Big Brothers. Of course, that melted my heart (a key to a woman’s heart is through her children). Twenty years later that dream has become a reality for him. Marv has taken the boy we mentor fishing, taken him to classic car shows and the tide pools. They have had conversations about school successes, how to be a friend to have a friend, and how to deal with bullies in life.

Last weekend we took the kids to the Ocean Institute in Dana Point and they went down to the tide pools. As we were collecting shells, our girl turned to me and said how much she liked us and that we were like having grandparents. Once again the tears welled up as I reflected on the desire that first got me interested in mentoring. We see the kids two or three times a month and stay in touch by phone in between. Mentoring has so enriched our marriage. I have to laugh, the other day I was reflecting on goals in my life and I thought it would be nice to get into ministry. Then I caught myself and laughed. Marv and I so enjoyed mentoring that we forgot it is a ministry.

Please pray for these children, that their lives can remain stable and that they can retain their excellent relationship with Christ through their teenage years. Their nuclear family is still fragile and I don’t know what we would do if they got put back into foster care. I just know that we will never leave them or forsake them.

Thank your for the Mentoring on Purpose Ministry from two families who have been so very blessed by it.

May God richly bless the ministry,

Karen and Marv